Does God Even Want Me?

The Question Nobody Says Out Loud

You sit down with a cup of coffee. Somebody starts talking about Jesus, or about church, or about getting your life right. And inside your head a voice goes off that you would never say out loud at the table.

“That stuff is for other people. Not me. Not after what I’ve done. Not after where I’ve been.”

Maybe you’ve been told your whole life that God is good. Fine. But somewhere in the back of your mind you figured He was good to other people. The clean ones. The ones who never used. The ones who didn’t lose their kids. The ones who didn’t burn down their marriage, or their job, or their family. The ones who didn’t wake up in jail, or in a stranger’s bed, or under a bridge.

You hear “God loves you” and part of you wants to believe it. And part of you laughs.

This little paper is for that part of you. The part that’s pretty sure God already gave up.

I want to tell you, gently and from the Bible, that He didn’t. He hasn’t. And He won’t.

What the Bible Actually Says About People Like Us

The Bible is not a book about people who had it all together. Read it for yourself. It is a book about wrecks.

Moses killed a man and ran. He hid out in the desert for forty years. God came and found him in that desert and gave him the biggest job in the Old Testament. (Exodus 2 and 3)

David slept with another man’s wife and had her husband killed to cover it up. God called him a man after His own heart. (2 Samuel 11; Acts 13:22)

Peter swore three times he didn’t even know Jesus, on the worst night of Jesus’ life. Jesus came back from the dead, found him on the beach, made him breakfast, and put him in charge of feeding His sheep. (Luke 22; John 21)

Paul was hunting Christians down to throw them in prison and have them killed. Jesus stopped him on a road, and that man went on to write almost half the New Testament. (Acts 9)

You see the pattern? God does not pick people because they are clean. He picks people because they are His. He cleans them up after.

“This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners — and I am the worst of them all.”

— 1 Timothy 1:15 (NLT)

That’s Paul talking. The same Paul who wrote Romans. The same Paul who got beaten and stoned and shipwrecked for the gospel. He never stopped knowing what he was. And it never stopped Jesus from using him.

The Lie That Keeps You at the Door

There is a lie that keeps a lot of people standing outside, looking in.

The lie says, “Get cleaned up first, then come to God.”

That is not in the Bible anywhere. Not one verse. The opposite is in the Bible.

“But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.”

— Romans 5:8 (NLT)

Read that again. While we were still sinners. Not after we cleaned up. Not after we got sober. Not after we made things right with the people we hurt. While we were still in the middle of the mess, Christ died for us.

Jesus said it Himself when the church people complained that He was hanging out with the wrong crowd:

“Healthy people don’t need a doctor — sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”

— Mark 2:17 (NLT)

If you know you’re sick, you are exactly the person Jesus came for. The people He had a hard time with were the ones who thought they were already fine.

You don’t have to clean yourself up to come to Him. You come to Him to get cleaned up. That’s the whole point.

“But You Don’t Know What I’ve Done”

Maybe. But God does. And here is what He says about it.

“Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.”

— Isaiah 1:18 (NLT)

Scarlet and crimson are the deep, dark stains. The ones that don’t come out in the wash. God is not talking about little stuff here. He is talking about the stuff you don’t even tell your closest friend. He says, I can make that white.

“He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.”

— Psalm 103:12 (NLT)

Think about that. Go north far enough and eventually you start going south. But you can walk east forever and never start going west. The two never meet. That’s how far God puts your sin from you when He forgives. Forever far. Never-meet far.

“But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”

— 1 John 1:9 (NLT)

Notice it doesn’t say some wickedness. It says all. Every bit of it. The stuff you remember and the stuff you’ve tried to forget.

What About the Voice in Your Head?

Even when you start to believe God could forgive you, there is often a voice that won’t shut up. “Yeah, but you. After what you did. Don’t be stupid.”

The Bible knows about that voice.

“Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.”

— 1 John 3:20 (NLT)

God is bigger than that voice. He knows everything you’ve done — every bit of it, the parts nobody knows about — and He still says come. Your feelings of guilt are real. They are not the final word. His word is the final word, and His word is forgiveness for anyone who comes to Him through Jesus.

“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.”

— Romans 8:1 (NLT)

No condemnation. Not “less.” Not “we’ll see.” None.

So What Do You Do?

You don’t have to fix yourself first. You don’t have to pray a fancy prayer. You don’t have to know the right words.

You just have to come.

Talk to Him like you’d talk to somebody at this table. Tell Him you’re tired. Tell Him you’ve blown it. Tell Him you don’t even know if He’s listening, but you’d like Him to be. Ask Jesus to take what you’ve done and give you what He paid for — a clean start, a new heart, a Father who is not ashamed of you.

He has been waiting for that conversation a long time. Longer than you’ve been running. He is not annoyed. He is not done with you. He is the kind of Father who runs down the road to meet His kid coming home, the way Jesus told it in Luke 15. He doesn’t even let the kid finish his apology speech. He just throws His arms around him.

That is the God who is asking about you this morning.

He is big enough. He is good enough. And yes — He wants you.

TAKE IT WITH YOU

One thought.  God doesn’t want a cleaned-up version of you. He wants you. The mess is what He came for.

One question.  What is the one thing in your past you’re most sure has put you out of God’s reach? Now read Romans 5:8 again with that thing in mind.

One step.  Talk to Him about that thing today. Out loud, in the truck, on a walk, before bed. You don’t need fancy words. He already knows. He’s waiting for you to know, and except He knows — and to come anyway.